2016 CDF: Warrior-Strong

Several years ago, one of the books or blogs I was reading about feminine identity discussed the use of military language in success and business literature. It identified the terms as appealing more to men, of being “masculine” in nature. It suggested that the use of words like “battle,” “strategy,” “weapons,” along with a focus on physical and mental strength over psychic and emotional strength alienated women from the discussion and left them at a disadvantage.

The argument was well-formed and presented logically. I agreed with some of the points and conceded that some women could be alienated or put off by militant or warlike imagery and language usage.

BUT… these days I find myself motivated by it. Thus my choice of the term warrior-strong for one of my 2016 core desired feelings. It’s the only word I carried over from 2015- it is my “through-line.” Last year, it addressed my desire to strengthen my body and my health. Limited progress was made in that arena. I believe that expanding the definition to apply to every area of my life will significantly improve my effectiveness and progress. I want to be warrior-strong in my physical body, my mindset, my creative output, my career strategy, my interpersonal relationships.

All of life.


CDFs: Happiness vs. Anger

For the past few years, I have dismissed “happy” as a potential Core Desired Feeling (CDF) out-of-hand. It seemed like an empty, assumed, and sort of pretentious choice. So I avoided it. Completely. But this year, I realized that, truly, it was the “elephant in the room.” Of course I wanted to be happy! Who didn’t? And what’s wrong with claiming that desire? Short answer: Nothing. So THIS year my primary CDF is happiness.

I’ve spent much of my adult life being angry. In most cases, justifiably so. I have chosen to deal with life’s hurts, disappointments, inequitable and unfair circumstances with anger as a self-protective strategy to cover any pain, fear, sadness, and depression- successfully, overall. I have chosen anger over tears for two reasons:

  • If I start crying, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop.
  • Crying is weak, leaves me further vulnerable, and changes nothing. I’ve been on my own for most of my adult life with no one to lean on. I don’t have the luxury of being weak. Not. Even. A. Little. Bit!

I recently found this quote: “You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.” ~Florida Scott-Maxwell

I love the image of being “fierce with reality.” Coming to terms with my anger, and choosing happiness instead, allows me a ferocious strength in my joy and in our future.

With much ferocious love,


Core Desired Feelings

Several years ago, I read “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. I learned all about how goal achievement is hugely dependent on the extent to which the goals make us feel the way we want to feel.

Up to that point, I had always made my goals based on what I “should” be accomplishing at any given stage of my life or career, with very mixed results — and very little satisfaction or sense of fulfillment. Clearly, D was on to something!

It made sense that if I determined how I wanted to feel, and created goals that would contribute to those feelings, then I would be far more motivated to reach the goals. And it worked!

So once again, this year, I’m choosing my core desired feelings (or CDFs) to drive my life and business goals. This year’s CDFs are:

  • happiness
  • creativity
  • abundance
  • warrior-strong

I asked my husband for his CDFs to incorporate into our family/life goals:

  • progress
  • money/financial wealth

I will examine and discuss each of our choices over the next few weeks as I figure out how each is important to our annual goals, moving forward through 2016.

What are your theme words or CDFs for 2016? Let us know in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

Welcome 2016!

I am so glad to start this new year! I went into 2015 knowing that it would be a stagnant year focused mostly on survival. I made the best of it, stayed afloat, and made the effort to stay engaged with life in spite of some personal difficulties and challenges.

2016 WILL BE different! The title of my health journal says it all: “My Year To Grow.” I am poised on the brink of a new year with some books to publish, a newly-emerging career path, a potentially lucrative business plan and, most importantly, a clear sense of hopefulness and happiness. Here’s wishing my readers all the best in the coming year.

Welcome 2016!

Self-Defense vs. Martial Arts

I have been practicing self-defense strategies on Damian Ross’ website (http://www.myselfdefensetraining.com/) while my daughter has been practicing Karate at the local community center. An acquaintance recently criticized my decision to enroll her in the karate class, saying that martial arts is “just” a sport and won’t do her any good if she is ever attacked.

I know what he is saying. It is the same line of thinking that I’ve heard Ross say in his marketing videos for his Self Defense Training System. He’s trained cops and military and bodyguards and… in real-life situations. Because Bad Guys won’t always fight fair, won’t attack in a well-lit dojo on mats, won’t follow any rules, and won’t pull their punches.


I watch my daughter’s karate class closely. Her sensei teaches many tactics from many disciplines. He has students practice combinations over and over and over again, then changes them up. Just in case. He teaches them about muscle memory, that automatic response that will kick in over any panic or shock. He shows her that anything can be used as a weapon if you think quick enough and strike an attacker’s most vulnerable parts.

Yes, she learning, we’re both learning, a structured skill set in a controlled environment. But I have every confidence that with continued practice, we are capable of using those skills effectively do defend our safety and well-being in any situation.

To Supplement or Not?

I have been riding the fence about dietary/health supplementation. On one hand, I know that even when I’m eating well, seeking out organic whole foods, I can not get the nutrition my body needs from my diet alone. But there is so much conflicting information about supplements, and so many impure synthetic supplements on the market, that I’ve been hesitant to try any.

Then I pulled together a supplementation plan and bought a half-dozen bottles of pills from the local health food emporium. I knew I had good quality products, but I wasn’t certain that I had the right blend of nutrients for my needs. I felt better; healthier. But still uncertain.

Enter, Melaleuca. Best. Supplements. Ever! These supplements deliver minerals to the body in the same form they are found in plants, providing superior absorption and maximum antioxidant protection. They also have many packs to choose from, for a variety of benefits, including:

– total health

– bone and joint

– heart health

– brain health

– peak athletic performance

– essential nutrition

All packs come in 3 formulations:

– men’s

– women’s

– longevity, 50+

All supplements included in the packs are also available for individual purchase, so you can create your own “pack” too. And all are independently, clinically tested at Freiburg University in Germany, renowned for its leading-edge research in biomedicine. Yep, proven best supplements ever!

For more information on Melaleuca’s supplements, visit www.melaleuca.com  . And if you’d like to become a preferred customer to get these supplements at a discount, contact me. I’d be happy to get you signed up.

Strength to Launch

launch: to start or set in motion. to send forth, catapult, or release.

Last week, I read the book Zero to Zillionaire by Chellie Campbell. While the book was full of good advice, the thing I liked best was the analogy woven throughout (I’m an English geek. What can I say?) Campbell used the analogy to explain the origin of the phrase, “waiting for your ship to come in.” Successful merchants in the olden days didn’t send out one ship and wait for its return. It might shipwreck or get lost at sea. It might be overtaken by pirates. The crew might mutiny and never come back home. So smart merchants kept building ships and sending them out. Eventually, a messenger would come running, shouting, “Your ship has come in!” The merchant didn’t bother asking, “Which ship?” It didn’t matter- ANY ship returning to harbor was a good thing!

In today’s marketplace, finding success is still a numbers game. The more “ships” a person launches into the marketplace, the better the likelihood that some will return to port laden with treasure and cargo. Payday!

I realize that I need to launch more ships. They don’t have to be huge cruise ships, entertaining thousands. Schooners and galleons are swift, and still bring many treasures to port.

Launches to schedule for this summer: newsletter writing for HOAs, one (or 2?) novels, PTSD Bible study (and workbook, online course), teen gym business plan, website update, weekly query letters to both online and print publications.

As Seth Godin says, “Ship it!” (and check out this awesome project journal he’s created and shared to help you do it!) Yep, it’s time to launch!

You Are Only As Strong As Your Resources

(Last Friday’s post… running a little bit late!)

Surviving difficult situations often depends on a person’s resourcefulness. What exactly does one do when a job is lost, eviction notices are served, the car breaks down, a loved one falls ill?

Scramble! Fast! That’s what you must do. There are resources available to help with every situation. Seek them out!

personal: do you know anyone- friends or family members- who might be in a position to help?

local: in many areas, calling 211 on your phone will give you a listing of local agencies that can help with a variety of challenges. Also, check with the city chamber of commerce and county health department offices for referrals to local agencies and organizations.

national/international: get online and search for national or international organizations and send queries to their “contact” online. Sometimes, there are interest forms or applications for aid available online that can be filled out and submitted right away.

Whatever the challenge, there are resources available to help. Need help with student loan payments? A tooth bothering you, needing to be pulled? Take the initiative to seek out the resources to help. The universe will meet you halfway.

You are long as strong as the resources you seek out and claim!

Scattered Focus = Weakness

Sorry, this is a day late, but I’m getting back on track… slowly…

Lately, it seems like all of the tasks completed and the goals set take far longer to finish than the time allotted for them. But it’s not a new phenomenon in my life. While people close to me accuse me of procrastination, I KNOW that I generally start well ahead of deadlines but run out of time. Am I that bad at time estimates? Even for tasks that I’ve completed before?

There is something else at work here: a lack of focus. When estimating the time needed for a task or goal, I forget to build in extra time for interruptions and distractions. Frankly…

I don’t have time for them!

I don’t want to build in extra time. Instead, I will develop laser-focus and work through interruptions and distractions to stay on track. Areas I need to focus-like-a-laser on right now are:

– business


Re-claiming focus requires strength of will and powerful concentration. When effectively focused, the time estimates will be accurate and the goals will be reached.

The Strong Minds Mission

I was talking with one of my amazing stepdaughters a while back and, as usual, she said something that lodged in my brain permanently. She is an incredible, strong, talented and inspirational songwriter and performer, who said, “I work hard every day to be the very best version of “me” that I can be. I respect people who work hard too, who try to look their best, feel their best, BE their best every day.”

Hmmm. Yeah. What she said! That spirit, that practice, THAT is what I want to help every teen on the planet find. Especially those who have been deprived of it- whether by circumstance, trauma, culture, religion, or whatever.

I believe that everyone deserves to be respected for being his or her best, most beautiful self. And I want to be instrumental in providing tools, support, and encouragement toward that end. Strong Minds Inc. will help teens look their best, feel their best, and BE their best, through the development of personal strength and integrity.

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